Running With The Bulls

I just have to write this. I don't know why but for some reason I need this blog. It has to do with sharing, it had to do with documenting, it has to do with sharing the stuff that I am finding out that makes my life remarkable because I want you to feel remarkable too :) There, said it, that feels better.

Now I have been toing and froing about this blog for ages, I wanted to have a blog but I wasn't sure if the name of the blog suited me anymore 'Walk Before You Can Run'?  I started to think 'what's wrong with just running now'? And that it was change feels like, when you change, when you take hold of the horns of the bull - you are running.  So perhaps there is a built in irony in this statement, as I find now, as I again work towards my dreams of being a dancer, I must learn to walk again. But I must not be defeated that I am walking again, because as I just said, when you really start to walk, it feels like you are running.

Chaînés* (pronounced sheh nays)

These are currently the baine of my existance :) No, not really, I am getting better at them, but there is a learning curve. I am given these exercises in class and I just expect I can do them, even though I have probably done less than a hundred in my life, whilst the other dancers have probably done many, many thousands.

So there is a lesson there, but the point is, I want to be able to do them, more than want, I must and will do them. And so to do that, I have to start practicing them! It sounds simple, but I find often we can have a problem and continually face pain when it comes up but not do anything about it.

This is me and chaines at the moment. Class will come and I experience the rather humiliating circumstance of walking or fumbling and falling and turning in weird directions down the room and getting very dizzy. The next class will come and I haven't done any practice and although I might make slight improvements over time, the experience is still less than ideal and I experience the humiliation again.

I love the process of learning and I love feeling myself get better and I LOVE the challenge, but I just want to be able to nail the exercise and experience the joy of that, and not just the learning :)

And so I come back to 'Walk Before You Can Run' - in order to improve, I must go back to the basics, study the technique and then practice, practice, practice until it's automatic.  So this is my lesson again, to 'Walk Before You Can Run', but this time I know, when you truly walk, if feels like you are running.

*Click here for a full glossary of ballet terms.